How much longer must this go on...
As I walked yesterday in the fields contemplating my situation in how I fully trust God in every aspect in my life. I am hanging onto my very last threads of money... now I got a problem w/ my bronco that is going to cost a couple of hundred- of which, makes it tough to fathom in spending what money I have on car parts. I am stuck here in Palmer, whence, my wife and I are still considering divorce.
Sooooo, my question is...... what is God trying to do for my future life??? Uncle Don is here by suffering a stroke- does God want me to minister to him? I WAS going to take care of him- but that failed. Grace had her teeth pulled out when I was going seek council for divorce- so that failed. Grace got sick last friday and now I am finally here in Palmer... AND MY BRONCO HAS FAILED!!! Sooooo, I guess I can sit back and see what God is going to do.....
I still gotta look for work, but is God keeping me from it??? I have gotten every job I have applied for except for this time around.
How do I go about fully trusting Him with doubt in my mind... 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Haughty and a prideful heart
Does your tongue condemn or does it love with humbleness?
Haughty eyes and a proud heart,
The lamp of the wicked, is sin. Pvb 21:4
Nobody likes to be struck down by their actions. There is no need to have a harsh tongue in response either.
We are to be blameless.
Sometimes we fall, get up in shame- knowing that we could have withstood our battle. Then it feels that we have become a worthless witness of Christ and feel that you are not worthy of this job and want to quit. But, what is up with that? Get back up and see what just happened and try and be ready the next time it happens.
If we are not Jesus and we are designed to be sinners, then, do we not carry "The lamp of the wicked"? The lamp of the wicked is sin- AND WE ARE ALL SINNERS!!! We sin every day without knowing.
Lets acknowledge our sin before the Lord and ask for forgiveness of our sins.
So, if we are instructed to become more like Jesus, He will prompt us put down that lamp of the wicked. My case in point is... what the heck has happened to my marriage??? We have casted each other down and have built up a defense against one another and have no interest of making a treaty. Instead, we are just waiting for a mistake, being ready to attack.
Haughty eyes and a proud heart...
Am I not proud to have such a wall of defense that I have put up against my wife. Mainly against drinking- I think...
Haughty means to arrogantly superior. Pride kinda means to so enthralled in your stature. Both of these we carry all to often and stand behind them in regards to our own perception of Christianity. The bible speaks of the wicked often and we do not consider ourselves to be of the wicked.
We stand in our own vision of righteousness thinking that we are not the ones that are wrong and fight back. Doesn't God tell us to humble ourselves??? BE HUMBLE. I don't think that God tells us to stand firm and yell back in defense. We are going outside of God's instruction and having haughty eyes and a proud heart. We put ourselves higher than those whom we perceive as the lost and cast judgement on them instead of being humble, mending relationships as God desires.
LETS FIX WHAT IS WRONG!!! LETS NOT LET IT GO ON ITS PATH OF DESTRUCTION!!! IN FACT, LETS ACKNOWLEDGE OUR WAYS BEFORE GOD AND HE WILL MAKE OUR PATHS STRAIGHT. LETS NOT GIVE UP IF WE ARE BEING A FALSE WITNESS, LETS FIX IT AND MOVE ON!!!
Amen
Haughty eyes and a proud heart,
The lamp of the wicked, is sin. Pvb 21:4
Nobody likes to be struck down by their actions. There is no need to have a harsh tongue in response either.
We are to be blameless.
Sometimes we fall, get up in shame- knowing that we could have withstood our battle. Then it feels that we have become a worthless witness of Christ and feel that you are not worthy of this job and want to quit. But, what is up with that? Get back up and see what just happened and try and be ready the next time it happens.
If we are not Jesus and we are designed to be sinners, then, do we not carry "The lamp of the wicked"? The lamp of the wicked is sin- AND WE ARE ALL SINNERS!!! We sin every day without knowing.
Lets acknowledge our sin before the Lord and ask for forgiveness of our sins.
So, if we are instructed to become more like Jesus, He will prompt us put down that lamp of the wicked. My case in point is... what the heck has happened to my marriage??? We have casted each other down and have built up a defense against one another and have no interest of making a treaty. Instead, we are just waiting for a mistake, being ready to attack.
Haughty eyes and a proud heart...
Am I not proud to have such a wall of defense that I have put up against my wife. Mainly against drinking- I think...
Haughty means to arrogantly superior. Pride kinda means to so enthralled in your stature. Both of these we carry all to often and stand behind them in regards to our own perception of Christianity. The bible speaks of the wicked often and we do not consider ourselves to be of the wicked.
We stand in our own vision of righteousness thinking that we are not the ones that are wrong and fight back. Doesn't God tell us to humble ourselves??? BE HUMBLE. I don't think that God tells us to stand firm and yell back in defense. We are going outside of God's instruction and having haughty eyes and a proud heart. We put ourselves higher than those whom we perceive as the lost and cast judgement on them instead of being humble, mending relationships as God desires.
LETS FIX WHAT IS WRONG!!! LETS NOT LET IT GO ON ITS PATH OF DESTRUCTION!!! IN FACT, LETS ACKNOWLEDGE OUR WAYS BEFORE GOD AND HE WILL MAKE OUR PATHS STRAIGHT. LETS NOT GIVE UP IF WE ARE BEING A FALSE WITNESS, LETS FIX IT AND MOVE ON!!!
Amen
Saturday, October 3, 2009
David and Goliath
1 Samuel 17:24-47
I think that I have finally won my first battle; in the matter of defending my trust in God.
How easy is it for me to give into my wretchedness as perceived by the people around me. I say this in the sense that in the eyes of man, I have not provided much value to my life and those around me. In agreement to their words, I had only accepted it in defeat and went with their advice. But, at the same time, telling them that I am a work in progress. Sooooo, how can I accept defeat and proclaim what God is doing in my life.
I am a man with virtually nothing, barely having a roof over my head. I have no income. My finances are a wreck and am nearly out of credit. I cannot even provide a meal for my children. I cannot support monetarily to anyone in any fashion. But, I have my life to Christ, fully, because I had accepted defeat. But, here, I want to acknowledge my allegiance to God's army. And as I search for the evidence, I can see that He is dealing with everything in my life.
Today, I have stood firm in victory- sort of. God tells us not to rely on the knowledge of other men, of which my mother was trying to tell me to just leave my wife so she can move on, and that maybe she can have someone to help her raise my children. So, I told her that I would seek a divorce on Monday- and I even texted Jeanne on the matter. We continued to argue on how I wasn't loving her, in return, I told her that I was being conditioned by the abuse that I perceived by Jeanne. But, as the conversation went on, here I was having senseless debate with another person in an earthly fashion. She also mentioned that I need to go to anger management.
The bottom line is that I told my mother that I was not going to take her advice and told her that she is going before God, interacting in our marriage. I told her that I was going to let God handle it....... or something like that.
David was a young man that was in charge of tending to the sheep. He was given a little responsibility to take care of these FEW sheep. Seems simple, but... there was lions and bears that attacked. He DEFEATED these attacks and achieved victory in the task of caring for the sheep.
Now, all the people was afraid of the great Philistine and did nothing with this confrontation- they ran. David asked "For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?”. David in his desires, wants to fight the good fight of faith against someone that is rivaling the army of God. God has given David the responsibility to fight against the goliath. Because David was responsible with what he was in charge with, winning the smaller battles and stood firm against the lions and bears.
I have just defeated my first lion. I hope and pray that I can stand firm the way God wants me to.
I think that I have finally won my first battle; in the matter of defending my trust in God.
How easy is it for me to give into my wretchedness as perceived by the people around me. I say this in the sense that in the eyes of man, I have not provided much value to my life and those around me. In agreement to their words, I had only accepted it in defeat and went with their advice. But, at the same time, telling them that I am a work in progress. Sooooo, how can I accept defeat and proclaim what God is doing in my life.
I am a man with virtually nothing, barely having a roof over my head. I have no income. My finances are a wreck and am nearly out of credit. I cannot even provide a meal for my children. I cannot support monetarily to anyone in any fashion. But, I have my life to Christ, fully, because I had accepted defeat. But, here, I want to acknowledge my allegiance to God's army. And as I search for the evidence, I can see that He is dealing with everything in my life.
Today, I have stood firm in victory- sort of. God tells us not to rely on the knowledge of other men, of which my mother was trying to tell me to just leave my wife so she can move on, and that maybe she can have someone to help her raise my children. So, I told her that I would seek a divorce on Monday- and I even texted Jeanne on the matter. We continued to argue on how I wasn't loving her, in return, I told her that I was being conditioned by the abuse that I perceived by Jeanne. But, as the conversation went on, here I was having senseless debate with another person in an earthly fashion. She also mentioned that I need to go to anger management.
The bottom line is that I told my mother that I was not going to take her advice and told her that she is going before God, interacting in our marriage. I told her that I was going to let God handle it....... or something like that.
David was a young man that was in charge of tending to the sheep. He was given a little responsibility to take care of these FEW sheep. Seems simple, but... there was lions and bears that attacked. He DEFEATED these attacks and achieved victory in the task of caring for the sheep.
Now, all the people was afraid of the great Philistine and did nothing with this confrontation- they ran. David asked "For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?”. David in his desires, wants to fight the good fight of faith against someone that is rivaling the army of God. God has given David the responsibility to fight against the goliath. Because David was responsible with what he was in charge with, winning the smaller battles and stood firm against the lions and bears.
I have just defeated my first lion. I hope and pray that I can stand firm the way God wants me to.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Crossing the river Jordan
As I walk away from the battle without trust, I walk away from the fight with my head down. I gave up, put my cross down and quit.
I am enduring life without any answers to prayers. When that happens, it makes it difficult to stand by my Lord and say that I am trusting Him with being my provider.
-I have not worked in more that 16 months. There are jobs that I have applied for, but I still stand unemployed.
-My wife and I are nothing but enemies, conducting warfare based on our own hearts.
-I hold onto resentment of where I stand in this society, a dead beat husband and person with no source of income.
-All I do is lay here to be belittled by those around me, going from house to house- of which I am just a guest, so I must show -respect according to their rule.
But, I guess I still had intent in going to church. I guess I still have a God given interest in what is pertinent to seeking victory in my life. Thus, God has opened my eyes to the book of Esther. I will see the correlation of what I am going through at this very moment and in recent past. He has only shown me a glimmer in church and given me an interest in learning what Esther went through and .... perhaps see what God is doing in my life.
As I hear, that Esther does not acknowledge God in this book. But, rather, the book depicts trials of life that God is working in the background. That is the same thing that is happening in my life. There is no sign of God in my life. No answered prayers, no employment, no reconciliation with my wife, no income.
But, what is God doing in my life right now?
This morning, my mother relayed that we are to pick up our cross. Well, I went back into my room and picked up my cross, that I so distastefully let go, from my dresser. God said, HEY, I NEED YOU TO PICK UP YOUR CROSS AND CARRY ON, so I did.
Now, today, I will go back to Jeanne's house (I also picked up my ring and put it on in faith that God will reconcile our marriage) to care for her uncle for about a month. Sooooooo, out of faith, I will go and see if God is going to bless us. I will go on the path that God is preparing before me, expecting Him to move in our lives. Though I have vowed that I would not go back to her unless she surrendered her life to Jesus.
So, as the Lord has set forth an adventure, I will cross the river Jordan. Trusting His lead and relying on the teachings that I have been given.
I am enduring life without any answers to prayers. When that happens, it makes it difficult to stand by my Lord and say that I am trusting Him with being my provider.
-I have not worked in more that 16 months. There are jobs that I have applied for, but I still stand unemployed.
-My wife and I are nothing but enemies, conducting warfare based on our own hearts.
-I hold onto resentment of where I stand in this society, a dead beat husband and person with no source of income.
-All I do is lay here to be belittled by those around me, going from house to house- of which I am just a guest, so I must show -respect according to their rule.
But, I guess I still had intent in going to church. I guess I still have a God given interest in what is pertinent to seeking victory in my life. Thus, God has opened my eyes to the book of Esther. I will see the correlation of what I am going through at this very moment and in recent past. He has only shown me a glimmer in church and given me an interest in learning what Esther went through and .... perhaps see what God is doing in my life.
As I hear, that Esther does not acknowledge God in this book. But, rather, the book depicts trials of life that God is working in the background. That is the same thing that is happening in my life. There is no sign of God in my life. No answered prayers, no employment, no reconciliation with my wife, no income.
But, what is God doing in my life right now?
This morning, my mother relayed that we are to pick up our cross. Well, I went back into my room and picked up my cross, that I so distastefully let go, from my dresser. God said, HEY, I NEED YOU TO PICK UP YOUR CROSS AND CARRY ON, so I did.
Now, today, I will go back to Jeanne's house (I also picked up my ring and put it on in faith that God will reconcile our marriage) to care for her uncle for about a month. Sooooooo, out of faith, I will go and see if God is going to bless us. I will go on the path that God is preparing before me, expecting Him to move in our lives. Though I have vowed that I would not go back to her unless she surrendered her life to Jesus.
So, as the Lord has set forth an adventure, I will cross the river Jordan. Trusting His lead and relying on the teachings that I have been given.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I am about to embark on a journey. If I am to go on this path that God is preparing before me, I better be well equip with the right items. No hiker goes out a backpack, but with the proper tools to help him/her to sustain the journey. So too, shall we be prepared with the wisdom of God that will help us to endure the mission.
I can bring correction in the manner of spreading the way the Lord intends for us to do things.
If the Lord does not accept it, then you shouldn't either- in the name of Jesus.
Bring the gospel of the Lord into the house.
God will judge them according to their deeds.
Pray for the lost.
All in all, you are saved. You have to let the wicked go about their ways. But pray and have hope in the Lord that he would convict them and open their eyes.
A farmer reaps what he sows.
I can bring correction in the manner of spreading the way the Lord intends for us to do things.
If the Lord does not accept it, then you shouldn't either- in the name of Jesus.
Bring the gospel of the Lord into the house.
God will judge them according to their deeds.
Pray for the lost.
All in all, you are saved. You have to let the wicked go about their ways. But pray and have hope in the Lord that he would convict them and open their eyes.
A farmer reaps what he sows.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Yield to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and repent of your sins
Yield to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and repent of your sins.
When we do wrong in the eyes of others and know it, it is pretty hard to apologize when we know that we have caused a wrong. This can happen even when we are alone with no one around us, but we are still before the Lord.
There are going to be many times when the Holy Spirit will make us feel convicted of wrong doing. When this happens, we have to act upon this conviction and identify what just happened. Repent of what just happened. Bring it to the Lord in prayer, asking Him to give us His Wisdom to understand this situation and how to comprehend how to handle it the next time it happens- because it is going to!!!
We are to be molded by God in the form of His Son Jesus. By not acknowledging the wrong doing, the action carries on as it was intended to do- to cause pain.
"Acknowledge all your ways before God and He will make your paths straight".
When we do wrong in the eyes of others and know it, it is pretty hard to apologize when we know that we have caused a wrong. This can happen even when we are alone with no one around us, but we are still before the Lord.
There are going to be many times when the Holy Spirit will make us feel convicted of wrong doing. When this happens, we have to act upon this conviction and identify what just happened. Repent of what just happened. Bring it to the Lord in prayer, asking Him to give us His Wisdom to understand this situation and how to comprehend how to handle it the next time it happens- because it is going to!!!
We are to be molded by God in the form of His Son Jesus. By not acknowledging the wrong doing, the action carries on as it was intended to do- to cause pain.
"Acknowledge all your ways before God and He will make your paths straight".
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The Sin of Complacency
There are many things that happen in life, throughout since the beginning of time. As I live in this generation, I can understand what influences that can sway us away from the Lord.
We are in a time where music has obscenities, we live in a time where the way people dress is provocative- trying to be attractive, but what are they trying to attract? In all this, people are being swayed to a sinful life falling into the hands of the enemy.
There are many troubles that people encounter, financial situations, marital problems, disabilities. Anger, generational consequences. I have in my extended family dyslexia, where people cannot read across the page. What an abomination! Satan jumbles words in the eyes of people and modern man gives it a diagnosis what people can perceive and accept it. WHERE IS THE CALLING OUT TO GOD??? My three year old daughter has a speech problem, she does not speak the entire word and says it in an abbreviated manner. How can I not bring this to the Lord in prayer! My daughter had virtually no speech! But, now she is learning and can pronounce the consonants. How dare we sin in not seeking His Glory for us, our Provider, our Savior. And how often do we not even glorify Him in the miracles that He does do in our lives.
How often do we not take the time upon ourselves to pray for the problems that we have in our lives. Or, how often do we wait for a pastor to pray. Okaaay, he prays for us, but does he teach us how we can pray for ourselves or tell us how we can call out to the Lord. He is our SAVIOR. He can save us! He can carry us!
Who fed 5 thousand people with 5 loaves of bread??? Who healed the sick, who healed a man with leprosy? Who healed a blind man so he could see? Who walked on water? Who parted the Red Sea? Who told us that we could even do GREATER things than He?
I am not complacent in my heart to sit here and accept what happens in the world around us.
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. for ever and ever. Amen
When we say this prayer, thy will be done, on earth AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. The enemy conflicts the world and sends a message of discouragement, but he cannot do it in Heaven. God gives us an opportunity to see His glory, HERE ON EARTH, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
The Lord rebuked satan. He commanded satan to get behind Him when Peter spoke in objection to the Will of the Lord.
This is a battle, a true daily battle against a formidable enemy. Do I not put on the armor of God and expect no battle? Because there will be! How do we give in and surrender to misery, defeated and imprisoned to the slander and simply accept it.
Why let the enemy do his thing and win victoriously unopposed. Why not fight the good fight of faith. Jesus IS with us. Whom shall I fear, for my God is with me.
As we know, the works of men will not prosper. But the work inspired by the Holy Spirit will be blessed. So, I pray that God would show us His mystery, that His Will be done.
We, set apart from Jesus, cannot do anything. But through Him, we can do all things as He did and we can do greater things.
We are in a time where music has obscenities, we live in a time where the way people dress is provocative- trying to be attractive, but what are they trying to attract? In all this, people are being swayed to a sinful life falling into the hands of the enemy.
There are many troubles that people encounter, financial situations, marital problems, disabilities. Anger, generational consequences. I have in my extended family dyslexia, where people cannot read across the page. What an abomination! Satan jumbles words in the eyes of people and modern man gives it a diagnosis what people can perceive and accept it. WHERE IS THE CALLING OUT TO GOD??? My three year old daughter has a speech problem, she does not speak the entire word and says it in an abbreviated manner. How can I not bring this to the Lord in prayer! My daughter had virtually no speech! But, now she is learning and can pronounce the consonants. How dare we sin in not seeking His Glory for us, our Provider, our Savior. And how often do we not even glorify Him in the miracles that He does do in our lives.
How often do we not take the time upon ourselves to pray for the problems that we have in our lives. Or, how often do we wait for a pastor to pray. Okaaay, he prays for us, but does he teach us how we can pray for ourselves or tell us how we can call out to the Lord. He is our SAVIOR. He can save us! He can carry us!
Who fed 5 thousand people with 5 loaves of bread??? Who healed the sick, who healed a man with leprosy? Who healed a blind man so he could see? Who walked on water? Who parted the Red Sea? Who told us that we could even do GREATER things than He?
I am not complacent in my heart to sit here and accept what happens in the world around us.
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. for ever and ever. Amen
When we say this prayer, thy will be done, on earth AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. The enemy conflicts the world and sends a message of discouragement, but he cannot do it in Heaven. God gives us an opportunity to see His glory, HERE ON EARTH, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
The Lord rebuked satan. He commanded satan to get behind Him when Peter spoke in objection to the Will of the Lord.
This is a battle, a true daily battle against a formidable enemy. Do I not put on the armor of God and expect no battle? Because there will be! How do we give in and surrender to misery, defeated and imprisoned to the slander and simply accept it.
Why let the enemy do his thing and win victoriously unopposed. Why not fight the good fight of faith. Jesus IS with us. Whom shall I fear, for my God is with me.
As we know, the works of men will not prosper. But the work inspired by the Holy Spirit will be blessed. So, I pray that God would show us His mystery, that His Will be done.
We, set apart from Jesus, cannot do anything. But through Him, we can do all things as He did and we can do greater things.
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